73373

Joke of the Day

"Honey, I gained weight to prevent women from hitting on me. You think I want to look like this? I do this for you."

"I don't like damp things For the moist part"

"What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground."

"I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing ""Danger Zone"" six times in a row... ...they told me I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts"

"What do you call an abominable snowman who's always late? A not-yeti."

"""I think we should stab other people."" - Masochists breaking up"

"Me: hey dad, what did you do before the internet? Dad: you have thirteen bros n sisters, do the math son."

"The average person has sex 90 times a year. Man this going to be an epic new years eve!"

"Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!"

"What's made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe."