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Joke of the Day

"Just read a few inspirational tweets about courage and confidence and GUESS WHO IS GOING TO ROB A BANK TONIGHT?!!"

"What do you give an injured alligator? Gatorade"

"This will be my first valentines with a girlfriend. Anyone have any ideas to help make it great? I'm 17, can drive and have a source of income. I would really like to make this one good."

"What do you call an egg that always gets picked on? The butt of every yolk :("

"Recently asked my North Korean buddy how it was over there... He said he couldn't complain."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? No ideer."

"They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that's why I surround myself with lazy people"

"My car horn hasn't worked for a long time. Today, a Boy Scout fixed it and all he said was, ""Beep repaired!"""

"I just watched a documentary about ships... ...riveting..."

"Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser"