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Joke of the Day

"Wanna hear an embarrassing story about the time I forgot something important? I forgot the punchline. Sorry, I haven't been this embarrassed since that one time."

"Why does America use Mexicans to pick our oranges? As we saw on Tuesday, it takes 1/2 of America to pick an Orange."

"I dream about sleeping with Michael J. Fox I bet he's a really good vibrator."

"Captain: You're suspended. Turn in ur badge and gun. [he does, but immediately grows a new badge and gun] Godammit, u were born to be a cop."

"Maybe Michael J. Fox could get a new show where his character doesn't have Parkinson's but he's a conductor aboard a moving train."

"Yet another tragedy struck the music world today. Police responded from a call to a California hotel room occupied by Justin Beiber. When they arrived on the scene, he was still alive."

"Give a man a fish... ...and feed him for one meal. Teach a man to fish, feed him for a lifetime. Give a man a fire, he stays warm for a few hours. Set a man on fire and he stays warm for a lifetime."

"What did one deodorant say to the other? I can't understand you, your axe scent is too strong."

"Did you hear about the Jewish pedophile? He said ""Hey, kid. Can I sell ya some candy?"""

"What's the difference between a chick and a woman? The chick says ""cock-a-doodle-do"", and the woman says "" any-cock-will-do"""