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Joke of the Day

"Q: What's worse than raining cats and dogs? A: Hailing taxis."

"Why is sex like Tetris? It's all about fitting the long piece in just right..."

"Why did the baker not allow greedy people to eat his goods? Because he wanted his produce to be glutton free."

"The Hunger Games Don't they play those in Africa?"

"I like my women like I like my whisky. 12 years old and mixed up with coke."

"The US Census Bureau is known for kicking ass And taking names."

"You know what makes me smile? ... my face muscles"

"Little Johnny Johnny was a chemist's son, but Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4."

"How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. Four to sit in the dark and cry about it and one to write the song."

"me: [raises hand] my date: again, that's not necessary"