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Joke of the Day

"How many emo kids does it take to change a lightbulb? Five. Four to sit in the dark and cry about it and one to write the song."

"So my doctor told me I need to stop eating so much... But I don't think I can just quit eating cold turkey."

"WebMD auto dialed an ambulance when I entered my chicken nugget intake."

"""I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE,"" I scream, as a sudden gust of wind blows the spider I threw outside onto my face."

"Marriage: when hanging out goes way too far."

"How does one sink, that which floats? How does one sync, that which floats? Well, we type case the variable to make sure that both sides of the equation are of type, floats."

"What is a ninjas favorite drink? Wataa and fruit punch! I'll see myself out."

"Why does Olaf have to be a snowMAN when he clearly has snow gender."

"Why did the farmer fail to bring in the whole harvest before winter frost? He got lost in the maize."

"CAT: mew ME: indeed, u are correct kitty CAT: mew ME: well said, kitty, well said FRIEND I FORGOT WAS THERE: are u ok...? Emotionally?"