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Joke of the Day

"Guys insult each other and don't really mean it. Girls compliment each other and don't really mean it either"

"What do you call two lesbians in a fist fight? A Muffle Ruffle."

"What's the difference between a circus and a strip club? One has cunning stunts the other has stunning..."

"I'm the kind of guy who stops the microwave at 1 second just to feel like a bomb defuser."

"Turning water into wine is pretty cool but turning kale and celery into $9.50 is a miracle"

"I can tell we still live in a sexist society because... Doctors still make more money than nurses."

"Hero's don't wear capes, they wear dog tags."

"Is Google a woman? I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions."

"I tried saving a cat in a tree but the darn thing wouldn't accept Jesus."

"What's it called when a pig kills itself? Soooey!-cide"