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Joke of the Day
"Is Google a woman? I can't even finish a sentence without it coming up with other suggestions."
Next Joke
"I'm saving myself for marriage. Sorry, FROM. Saving myself FROM marriage."
"A man suffering Crohns Disease who speaks to the deceased is currently fornicating with his obese wife. he's a small medium in large."
"If you're telling a story to a group and are interrupted and then no one asks you to continue, ruin their party by drowning in the pool."
"FACT : Half of all missing person reports involve people trying to find their way out of IKEA."
"He told me I was the ""bee's knees"". I believe I merit being compared to something more like a lemur's femur. Who doesn't love Zoboomafoo?"
"Why can't you have multi-story buildings in China? That would be wong on so many levels!"
"The most toxic substances known to mankind. 1. Arsenic 2. Cyanide 3. Polonium 4. Mercury 5. The League of Legends community"
"So, I came up with this on my own... ""You can say Whitney got on... The SOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL TRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAINNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN"
"I heard you put your dick in peanut butter jar... That's fucking nuts"