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Joke of the Day

"Why don't you want your nose to be 12 inches long? because then it would be a foot!"

"A bunch of kids took their mom's sisters to an EDM festival. It was all aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts and aunts..."

"What happened in China on Christmas? The Rice-child was born."

"I went to a zoo that only had dogs It was a shit zoo."

"Jesus was nailed to the cross. He said ""Peter, come forth"". Peter walks up, Jesus waves his hand and he is healed. Next he says ""Mary, come forth"" But Mary came fifth and won a toaster."

"Why don't Episcopalians play chess? They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen"

"[trying to get a massage] How much for a happy ending? ""Sir, this is a library!"" *whispers* sorry, how much for a happy ending?"

"Secret agents asking citizens to please speak more clearly in all phone calls. Also, cut the chitchat and get to the good stuff, they ask."

"What did the pot-head name his son? Bud."

"What drink does hitler hate the most? Juice"