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Joke of the Day

"Captain America: ok Avengers, we can defeat Ultron if we work as a team. Remember, no man is an island Island Man: oh come on not this again"

"Haters gonna have a valid point sometimes."

"I went to a book store and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was She Said If She Told Me It Would Defeat The Purpose."

"Knock knock *Who's there?* Who. *To who?* (cough, straighten collar) To WHOM..."

"NSFW? - Definition of a Period A period is a bloody waste of fucking time! (works in Australia, and probably England)"

"Jumping Off A Building Two men, one black and one white, jump off a building, which one arrives first on the floor? A: The white one. The black man was busy stealing the air conditioners."

"How do I know I'm not Daniel Day-Lewis?"

"Why are all blond jokes 1 liners... So men can understand them too!"

"How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black. *drops mic, gets beat by security*"

"There is no I in Team, but there's always one big A... if you know what I mean."