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Joke of the Day

"[Meta] I made a subreddit for anti pickup lines If you want to post an antipick up line, post it to /r/antipickuplines"

"After countless scientific trials and errors, I have successfully turned back time. It's emit."

"Things Red Bull has given me: 1) jitters 2) diarrhea 3) a heart attack Things Red Bull has not given me: 1) wings"

"My wife accused me of being transgender... So I packed her things and left."

"WIFE: I love you NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON: My experiences with you lead to an increase in dopamine and oxytocin as well"

"I played Dodgeball... I got Bullied.... I ate Gluten... I didn't get Participation Trophies... I turned out fine... So will your kid..."

"What's the difference between a hippie chick and a hockey team? A hockey team takes a shower after three periods."

"I told my wife I'm not willing to help with the laundry but I am willing to draw nipples on her flesh colored bras so they'd be less creepy."

"What do a homeless woman and an American football player have in common? They both take their pads off after four periods"