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Joke of the Day
"Black dads"
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"Why are there no pictures of Ted Cruz holding a baby? They always turn out blurry from him shaking them."
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He used to lie awake all night wondering if there was a dog."
"On the occasion of Women's Day...my wife decided to take a rest ...so I am the boss for today....."
"I was watching Jurassic park the other day, when I thought, ""Not only does my son have a stupid name, but he's also a shit driver""."
"I scare off men like I'm some kind of evil clown hiding in their closet. ""I'm not a clown!"" I shouted as I sniffed his sweater vest."
"What did the toilet say when he was hitting on another toilet? On a scale from one to ten, urinate."
"Cat got your tongue? Frog in your throat? Monkey on your back? Butterflies in your stomach? You may be dead in a field."
"My new years resolution is 3840 X 2160 because I recently bought a 4K monitor."
"My wife told me her period was lasting several days longer than normal. I said, Sounds more like an ellipsis..."