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Joke of the Day

"What do you call Pegasus farts? Horse power."

"I just seen a kid yell at his dad and tell him ""No jerk!"" I yelled at my dad once when I was 12, then I woke up and I was 16."

"If I were Cinderella, I wouldn't have settled for a guy who couldn't even remember what my face looked like."

"If Socrates had been a woman, he would've said: All I know is that I have all these clothes, but I have nothing to wear."

"What do you get when you cross bears with salmon? Cannibals."

"[throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably."

"Nuts. Two peanuts went for a walk in the park,one was a salted."

"This guy.. igg.me/at/bustofabney Why is this a thing??"

"Bi-Polar People are not too bad :) But Bi-Polar Bears are fucking crazy!"

"Hey, people ""liking"" Walmart on Facebook - you OK?"