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Joke of the Day

"[throws a dart at map of the world] One day, I'm gonna go over there & pull that dart out. The next time I wanna play darts, probably."

"My sense of humor is so dark... ... one of these days it's going to get shot by the police."

"""Hello, 911"" Help I'm being murdered! ""Can you put the murderer on please"" what ""Gotta hear both sides"""

"Every time this gets RTed a member of Congress gets kicked in the groin."

"What is the most awkward day in Harlem? Father's Day"

"What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2"" Mexican have in common? They're both short essays."

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a Mexican? I don't know but it can pick the shit out of some lettuce."

"Fruit Basket Stephen King and Richard Bachman are sharing a fruit basket. Which one noms de plum?"

"What is a difference between Jesus and a Picture of Jesus? It takes one nail to hang a picture."

"All of my friends call me SAT prep Because no one ever does me... :("