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Joke of the Day

"My friend is working on a website and told me he wanted to use MySQL. Why can't he just use HisOwnSQL?"

"What's the most annoying part about waking up to find a penis drawing on your face? Figuring out how to make it stop."

"Ok children, what sounds did we hear on our field trip to the farm yesterday?...""Moo!"" ""Bahhh!"" ""Quack Quack""...""Get the Fuk off that tractor!!!"""

"In America saying you're the bomb is a compliment but... In Afghanistan it's a question."

"My attorney likes to earn from my mistakes."

"*waters flowers* *flowers die* *sprays weeds with poison* *weeds mutate, quadruple in size, grow 3 heads, and start speaking in tongues*"

"The Woods So a guy is walking with a young boy into the woods. Boy ""Hey mister its getting dark out and I'm scared,"" Man ""How do you think I feel, I have to walk back alone."""

"How many teens does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two, but you need a really big lightbulb."

"Why are there no elderly people in Africa? They all die when they turn aidy."

"*Alcohol kills germs. *Vodka is alcohol. *Flu is germs. *Vodka kills the flu. *You're welcome!"