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Joke of the Day
"Anal with my girlfriend made my whole day But it made her whole week."
Next Joke
"[in a bar] Him: Trouble is my middle name. Me: wow... That's a stupid middle name. You must hate your parents. Him: *breaks down crying"
"I watched two gay guys put up a tent today.... ...that was a camp sight."
"What do you say to ensure another Jehovah's Witness never comes by your house again? Sir, have you heard about the great workout of crossfit?"
"What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back."
"What does a vegetarian zombie eat? Grains..."
"My parents just googled me and now they're crying"
"Relationships are a lot like algebra. You look at X and try to figure out Y."
"*places empty liquor bottle on shelf for display* I'm An Animal Now Everyone. I Decorate With Trash. Literally An Animal"
"I'd like to teach the world to sing. And while everyone's busy, I'd go watch a movie without people talking through it."