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Joke of the Day
"What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty!"
Next Joke
"Wanna hear a joke about Kraft Macaroni and Cheese? I would tell you but its dangerously cheesy."
"So I've decided that my wifi will be my valentine. Idk, we just have this connection."
"How do you know the toothbrush was invented in West Virginia? It would have been called a teeth brush anywhere else."
"""Your resume says you spent 4 years in England. What were you doing?"" *flashback to me trying to find the actual Hogwarts* ""Grad school."""
"""Welcome to fightclub you may now kiss the bride."""
"Why was everyone shivering at the inauguration? Because it's a cold day in hell...."
"Tyfus applied for a job in a factory. The company doctor who was giving him a physical asked ""Have your eyes ever been checked?"" ""No"" said the worker. ""They've always been brown."""
"I want to get a dog and name it Syndrome. So that every time he gets on my couch, I can yell ""DOWN SYNDROME"""
"My six year old lost a tooth. I left a note instead of money ""too dirty."" He has been brushing that one tooth all day. Lesson unlearned"