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Joke of the Day

"I want to follow a random family around Disneyland for a day and just be in the background of all of their photos."

"Yo momma's so fat, she uses the Large Hadron Collider as a hula hoop."

"I invented something to keep the inside of my car quiet. It fits right over her mouth."

"My boyfriend broke up with because I make too many Linkin Park references, but in the end it doesn't even matter."

"What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw."

"I once went five years without having sex then I turned six and my uncle raped me"

"What do you call a stupid person? stupid"

"Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority.. Because they hate Dick's"

"If you don't like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car."

"Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? Because he got hit by a truck."