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Joke of the Day
"Next time you get in a fight with your girl.. Go tighten all the lids on the jars."
Next Joke
"[looks up at arresting officer] are you mad at me"
"If Kung Fu Panda taught me anything, it's that obese people can be accepted...so long as they know kung fu."
"What did Cinderella say when her photos didn't arrive on time? One day my prints will come."
"My dance moves are so white Charlie Sheen tried to snort them."
"My wife remains very racist in her approach to laundry."
"Being a bigger account doesn't make you a better person. We're all terrible people. We're on twitter. I threw a baby at a fox this morning."
"I was at a wedding the other day It was so moving, even the cake was in tiers"
"You know how people say they'll pray for you? I bet they don't. Assholes."
"As schoolgirl skirts get shorter... ...anemia rates grow in Japan."