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Joke of the Day
"Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority.. Because they hate Dick's"
Next Joke
"People like it when girls shake their boobs and butts in public, but when I spin my penis in a circle, people call me a ""Sex offender"" and tell me ""Don't do that in public parks."""
"Oddly enough, when ducks take pictures of themselves, they make the drunk sorority girl face."
"Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?"
"Just been fined 500 for having a joint in my greenhouse. I guess people in glass houses shouldn't get stoned."
""" Could the cereal your children eat every morning be killing them? Tonite at 11 on abcnews56 we will tell you"" "" After several studies , no. """
"There's a lot of talk surrounding the EU referendum at the moment. We've already heard from the boss' of JCB and Dyson; I'm just waiting to hear from Durex and their opinions on us pulling out."
"Hell hath no fury like a woman mad for no particular reason."
"*crawls up from backseat* *slowly pulls off paper bag from head* What? No... I'm not embarrassed by your driving"
"What do you need to teach a blonde who never had an accident in 20 years? Second gear."