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Joke of the Day

"I'm sitting in a booster seat in the back of a minivan because I want to teach my kids right and my 8yo called shotgun fair & square."

"Eat your school, stay in drugs, and don't do vegetables."

"I drank way too much yesterday and took the fattest girl home. I ended up hammered and waisted."

"wut equasion do u use when u wanna kno tha prbility that u & ur girl are gonna b 2gether 4ever? bae's theorem"

"We all know Elton John is amazing on the paino.. But did you know that he sucks on the organ?"

"My angry wife said: ""I hope you spend an eternity in hell !"".... I said, ""Why wait? I'll take you clothes shopping right now""."

"What's a Chinese dentist's favorite time? Tooth Hurty"

"One of my oldest friends is my receding hairline... We go way back."

"Me: who's a good dog? who's a good dog? Dog: i have a boyfriend"

"What is Somailias national dish? An empty plate"