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Joke of the Day

"What key opens a banana? A monkey. What key opens a carrot? A donkey."

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"- Doc, how did you know that I have high blood pressure? - You make mosquitoes explode!"
"Why do black people think about sex so much? Because there's pubes on their heads."
"An Neutron Walks Into a Bar He asks the bartender, ""How much for a drink?"" The bartender replies, ""For you? No charge."""
"Do her by the ocean. Beaches love crabs."
"Valve should be in charge of the UN... It's the only sure-fire way to prevent World War 3."
"I went to a club and they played ""The Twist"", I did the twist. They played ""Jump"", I jumped. They played ""Come on Eileen""...I got kicked out for that one."
"If twitter users are sued, lawyers will have to analyse over 4 giggs of data. Imogen that..."
"Look dude, I'm going to need to see alot more chest hair and jewelry if you want into my Disco party"
"What is the cow's holiday greeting? Mooooory Christmas!"