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Joke of the Day

"I don't get why everybody hates on ISIS.... Their drug policy, for one, is incredibly progressive. Women get stoned legally over there all the time!"

"why do they always say ""fight fire with fire"" in the movies and stuff? basic pokemon training renders that pretty ineffective"

"""This is the ride that killed Jimmy."" - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks"

"I Thought having a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant... But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"

"How do they make bras for octopi? With suction cups."

"How to win the war on drugs... 1) legalize all drugs. 2) require that all drugs be purchased through Comcast customer service."

"What's the worst part about a rape joke? The rape."

"U know ur self esteem is low when a girl rejects you and u completely agree with them and support their decision."

"what do you call a mentally unstable ursine that lives in the antarctic? A bi-polar bear."

"I pulled the trigger on myself... now I'm triggered."