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Joke of the Day

"""This is the ride that killed Jimmy."" - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks"

"Fortune teller told me that I will be fucked by a beautiful lady today, and damn he was right a pretty mail lady just handed me over an audit letter from IRS."

"I wonder who the sorting hat will choose as the new Pope."

"What do you call a liquid that spent all its money dissolving solute? [in]solvent"

"Do you call a senior citizen bride's pre-wedding party... A golden shower?"

"Me: Let's have a fight with that guy you like Brain: That's not a good idea, he might actually like y... Me: GOOD IDEA! WE ATTACK AT DAWN!"

"What has got 8 legs and 1 eye? 2 chairs and a half of a fish."

"I think I might be depressed... But I'm just taking a shot in the dark."

"Butt sex is a lot like spinach If you're forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult."

"What kind of weather puts a smile on snoop dogg' face? Drizzle.. my nizzle"