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Joke of the Day
"what do you call a mentally unstable ursine that lives in the antarctic? A bi-polar bear."
Next Joke
"GOD: (creates earth) hell yea lizard planet! WINDOWSTM: restart planet for important updates GOD: um ok *dinos die, man appears* GOD: wtf"
"Why is it easier to pick a prime minister than any other leader? Because there's only 2 factors involved."
"My anaconda don't want none unless you got a suitable living environment for him, a terrarium with a heat lamp, some small rodents, etc."
"Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn,..... Wife: (shouting) Stop watching porn, I can hear it in the kitchen. Husband: I'm not, it's Sharapova vs Serena."
"My mum says I don't know anything about colourless gases. But ammonia little boy."
"I cast a spell on a girl today and it actually worked! I focused in on the girl and said ""Virginus Protectus."" It worked because she walked away with a terrified look on her face."
"What is the best way to pass the time on Tatooine? Watch the Dagobah"
"An undertaker says to a bereaved husband When did you realise your wife was dead?' Well,' he replies, the sex was the same but the dishes just kept piling up...' from Internet."
"A clown was walking by yesterday with a load of red socks turns out it was both of his boots"