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Joke of the Day

"Doctors in the 40's used to prescribe orgasms to stressed women. Which seems pretty liberal until you realize he used his hand to do it."

"They say the average person has sex 82 times a year.... ......I guess I'm going to be busy as hell for the next four days."

"For Halloween this year, I'm gonna be a dish. Because bitches do dishes."

"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met."

"Ya know what's a real pain in my ass? Anal fissures."

"Did you guys hear about that pastor who refused to perform a Full House themed lesbian wedding? Apparently he didn't want to marry Kate and Ashley."

"Houseguests should have a mandatory bedtime."

"My grandfather's new 21 year old wife denies she's a gold digger but I think it's a little suspicious she married him less than a week after his death."

"""Do you come here often"", she asked... ""No, usually in my belly button"", I replied."

"I got lost in a corn field. It was quite a maize."