198983

Joke of the Day

"Did you guys hear about that pastor who refused to perform a Full House themed lesbian wedding? Apparently he didn't want to marry Kate and Ashley."

"If I had a penny.. for every time a girl asked me out I'd have 5 cents. She said if I came back a sixth time, she'd call the cops."

"What animal do you get when shake a pig? a ham-stir"

"I'm allergic to football fields They send me into NFLactic shock."

"What's the most disloyal animal to it's mate? A cheetah."

"If two vegans fight is it still considered beef? Sorry for the unoriginal joke, have an invisible flying potato."

"Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish in highly-contaminated water, feed him for a day."

"I'd like two tickets, please. - Is it for The Hobbit? - No, she's my girlfriend."

"How does an international banker have a good Friday night? He goes to a bar and slips somebody a Rupee, then gives them a Franc and some Deutsche Marks."

"Police Chief: Why did you tie a rope on that criminal? Officer: You ordered me to get a line on the suspect."