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Joke of the Day

"Why doesn't the pope like continuous functions? They're not hole-y."

"Why did the coach go to Aldi? To get his quarterback."

"Q: Why is a train like a stick of gum? A: One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew."

"I use so many age defying crinkle creams that I don't have finger prints anymore."

"How does Donald Trump plan on deporting millions of illegal immigrants? Juan by Juan"

"My neighbor is crazy. After playing some Justin Bieber at high volume at 7 o'clock this morning, he commited suicide by shooting himself 8 times in the back with my gun."

"What do you call Jewish folk that died from agent orange? *german accent* Orange Juice"

"How did the rabbit know his wife was cheating on him? There was a hare in his bed."

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"H: Do you like carpet or prefer it bare? M: I'm OK with a little carpet of she shaves the rest H: We're talking about floors M: HR again?"