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Joke of the Day

"My neighbor is crazy. After playing some Justin Bieber at high volume at 7 o'clock this morning, he commited suicide by shooting himself 8 times in the back with my gun."

"What did the two oceans say to each-other? Nothing, they just waved."

"My house-mate is terrified of negative numbers He'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

"A man walks into a bar. His alcohol dependency is tearing his family apart"

"What does Mario use to get his hot dogs off the grill? He uses his Donkey Tongs."

"What's Harry Potters favorite way to go down hill? Walking... JK ROLLING"

"I overheard my neighbor telling someone on the phone that I am creepy and weird. I was so mad I almost crawled out from under her bed and confront her."

"What do Catholics and Baptists have in common? Neither acknowledge their fellow church-goers at the liquor store."

"What do you call a turtle that sends pictures to everyone? a Snapping Turtle"

"What does DNA stand for? the National Dyslexic Association!"