43860

Joke of the Day

"They say tragedy plus time equals comedy... but I just don't think my wife Debra farting herself to death in 2011 will ever be funny to me"

"I love money. I set it free and it didn't come back. Relationships are hard."

"I think my friend Ben has a bad reputation. Every time I tell someone that me and my other buddy are friends with Ben Ofitz, they give me a strange look."

"Who poisoned the waters in the 2016 Olympics? It was I, **RIO**!!!"

"American government is of the people, by the people and for the people. Which begs the question: what is wrong with you people?"

"I'm so hungry that I can eat a Centaur"

"I haven't said a single truthful thing on here since I became the King of Sweden."

"What do cops and mushrooms have in common? You feed 'em shit and keep 'em in the dark."

"You know what gives me the shits? The digestive system"

"My really jacked friend shockingly ran out of protein powder today. He told me and I was like, No Whey"