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Joke of the Day

"The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated."

"Q. What do you call a line dancer on a cruise? A. An Ocean ""Liner"""

"What did the chocolate syrup say to the ice cream? ""I'm sweet on you!"" "

"Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race? He couldn't get a head."

"Upon seeing my wife and my mate fucking in our bed, I noticed that they made a very beautiful couple. So I clubbed them together"

"Did you hear they found a dead ice cream vendor covered in sprinkles? Police are saying he topped himself."

"Where was Solomon's temple located? On the side of his head."

"How a phone recall works. Samsung: Send us your exploding phone. Microsoft/Nokia: A software update will fix that. Apple: You are using it wrong."

"A man drowned this morning eating a bowl of muesli. A strong current pulled him under."

"If you're riding a horse at full speed along side a giraffe and a lion is chasing you, what do you do? Get your drunk ass off the merry-go-round. Props to the radio station I heard this on today."