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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the headless horseman win the race? He couldn't get a head."

"When does it rain money? When there's change in the weather."

"A. Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms? Q. They think their picture is being taken."

"If Trump wins tonight... He'll be the first person to go from P.O.S. to P.O.T.U.S."

"What did Treebeard say when he took a piss? RELEASE THE RIVERRR!!!!!!!"

"What do you call a Jewish man, mid ejaculation? A Heblew."

"My wife's sexual fantasy is to be with another man. Mine is to have two girls at the same time. I think she misunderstood because now we have twin daughters from the mailman."

"Did you hear oxygen and magnesium started dating? I know, right! Like, OMg!"

"Ladies: We leave the toilet seat up because we don't want to touch it any more than you do."

"Whenever I'm on twitter I always turn my phone upside down to try and collect spare change from your pockets."