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Joke of the Day

"<--- 30 year old female who STILL snickers when the elevator door opens & the electronic voice says ""going down"". Never gets old."

"I don't blame pedophiles all the time, After all, there's a child in all of us."

"Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes."

"Ladies, if he says he would go to the ""end of the earth"" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland."

"two guy's are sitting on the front porch in the yard they see a dog licking his balls one say's to the other do you think I could do that? his buddy says maybe but I think you should pet him first"

"I can cut down a tree just by looking at it. ... .... It's true! I saw it with my own eyes."

"I asked Sean Connery what game he was going to play with Roger Federer tomorrow and what time he was going to go He replied: ""Tennish"""

"Relationships are like onions They seem harmless on the outside but once you get into it you'll cry."

"Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. Fish 24:7"

"""My cat just got ran over"" You cant end a sentence with a preposition ""My cat just got ran over lol"""