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Joke of the Day

"Ladies, if he says he would go to the ""end of the earth"" for you and then he goes missing, check Finland."

"What do two gay guys have for breakfast? AIDS and bacon."

"007 is fired, becomes a scientist. He opens meetings with, ""The name's Bond, Hydrogen Bond."" Everyone laughs. He cries in the supply closet."

"Why was the detective excited when he found a thimble sized crown? He was looking for Finger Prince. (Say it out loud if you don't get it.)"

"What do you call it when you get an erection at a funeral? Mourning wood"

"I just found out a distant relative of mine has eaten three people. It's a lot to digest..."

"What happens when so-and-so step in the neutrino's urine? He develops LEPTONspirosis."

"Redneck sext message: You cant handle the tooth!"

"If I own a gym my employees will be required to intermittently pester you. If you don't like it don't come to Jehovah's Fitness."

"LAPD announced they fired a dozen officers this today... In other news, 12 cabins were burned to the ground in Big Bear."