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Joke of the Day

"I asked Sean Connery what game he was going to play with Roger Federer tomorrow and what time he was going to go He replied: ""Tennish"""

"I'm selling shirts for armless people called Ampu-T's."

"What meme do Uber drivers hate? Do you even Lyft, bro?"

"If a giraffe had a sore throat, how many lozenges would it need to make it better?"

"You all like dinosaurs...right? What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? ***A thesaurus***"

"I unsubscribed from the official earthbending subreddit. Getting tired of all these Internet Toph Guys."

"-911 Whats the emergency? My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir? Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking?"

"Welcome to the Sexual Innuendo Club Thank you all for coming."

"Doctor Doctor my little brother thinks he's a computer. Well bring him in so I can cure him. I can't I need to use him to finish my homework."

"Mickey: ""Minnie, I'm leaving you."" Minnie: ""What!? Are you fucking crazy!?"" Mickey: ""No, I'm fucking Daisy"""