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Joke of the Day

"How does ISIL prefer their eggs? Sunni side up at first. But they always end up scrambled."

"Why are people so sad in Ferguson? Because they live in misery"

"One more glass of wine and my ""only a lesbian from the waist up"" rule is about to go out the window."

"Why does it take so long for pirates to learn the alphabet? Because they can spend years at sea."

"Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton? Because he found his suicide note in her Wikileaks emails."

"Why didn't the motorcycle want to go for a ride? It was two tired..."

"Father Christmas: How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge? Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge."

"Emergency Landing: Gary thank god you picked up! Hey remember when you said if I needed a place to crash I cou- hold on... *to copilot* STOP CRYING, GARY WILL HELP"

"Went to an Indian restaurant last night The waitress asked me ""Was the curry ok sir"" I said ""Ok. One song then you can piss off"""

"Have you heard about the music stores percussion sale? Their prices can't be beat Have you heard about their guitar sale? The prices are solo"