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Joke of the Day

"Someone asked me if I wanted to watch Richard the third. I Said 'I haven't the seen the first 2'"

"I bought a new lock for my bedroom door Wound up getting half off when it didn't work."

"4 gay guys walk into a bar... They find that there is only one barstool, the ponder for a second, until one says, ""why don't we just flip it over?"" (Sorry if its a repost)"

"A German underwear company has released a new line of Bra... They call it... ""Stoppinzam-Fromfloppin"""

"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."

"Did you hear about the constipated dyslexic? He had trouble moving his elbows."

"Fertilizer Plant Explosion This fertilizer sucks, all these plants are dead!"

"Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread."

"What's 6 inches long hard, bent, and in my pants? My iPhone 6"

"Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ..."