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Joke of the Day

"I'm sorry I said ""sorry about your eyebrows"" when you showed me your wedding photos"

"I went to a fight and a hockey match broke out... http://www.sbnation.com/nhl/2015/11/14/9736852/jets-predators-unsportsmanlike-penalties"

"My mate David was a victim of ID theft Now we just call him Dav"

"Why are the best accountants twins from Prague? Because they always double Czech their work!"

"I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life."

"Babies have little hands and odd sleep schedules which is why my gym for buff infants has miniature equipment and stays open 24hrs."

"Fred: ""I can't believe Ben is in the hospital. Just yesterday, I saw him with a gorgeous blonde."" Bob: ""So did his wife."""

"When people fall with their iPhone 6 in pocket and hear a crack sound: ""Please let it be my leg, Lord."""

"Me: Got my finger stuck in this beer bottle. Wife: How?! M: Just help me. W: Have you tried butter? M: It's delicious. Now will you help me?"

"What did the penis say to the condom? **""Cover me! I'm going in!""**"