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Joke of the Day

"A little boy skips school... Grandpa: ""Go hide, your teacher is here because you skipped school today!!"" Little Boy: ""No you go hide because I told her you were dead!"""

"The worst part about ""Friends"" being canceled is that I've now been stuck with Rachel's last haircut since 2004."

"My girlfriend is a porn star I really hope she never finds out."

"Just when I think I've run out of tweets, I come up with this one."

"What does Acetone and Hitler have in common? They're both Polish removers!"

"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it."

"What do disgusting people eat? Groceries."

"What do you call a midget king? ""Your shortness."""

"I don't like rape jokes... they feel kinda forced."

"Rearrange the letters P-N-E-S-I to spell out an important part of human anatomy that is more useful when it is erect. Er... SPINE?"