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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a midget king? ""Your shortness."""

"What happens when you combine an alpha particle and a beta particle? They become alpha-beta-cle"

"Did you know Stalin's penis was the funniest part of his body? It was real commiedick."

"If you're looking for candy corn, look no further than my trash can."

"How come an extremely angry woman can pack everything she owns in an hour, but it takes her a week to pack for vacation?"

"A man goes to his doctor and says; Doc I think I'm addicted to twitter. Doc: Sorry, I don't follow you"

"What is the average Math teacher like? Mean."

"ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses"

"""The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."" ""And did he?"" ""Yes I had to sell the car to pay the bill."""

"What is the definition of 'making love'? Something a woman does while a guy is f***ing her."