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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a vulture with no beak? A head banger."
Next Joke
"How do you turn a fox into a whale? Marry her."
"I just passed my drug test My dealer has some serious explaining to do"
"When I get Cheeto dust on my fingers I use it to draw warpaint on my face. I am serious as fuck about my Cheetos."
"Why are Redditors naturally great at swordfighting? They practice riposting all the time."
"""Daddy,"" a little girl asked her father, ""do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? "" ""No, sweetheart,"" he answered. ""Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"""
"Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?"
"How much would you have to pay a teacher to flunk your kid so he has to go to Summer School? Just planning ahead..."
"How can you tell when the Mexicans have moved into your neighborhood? The Blacks get car insurance."
"My landlord wanted to come talk to me about the high heating bill I told him, ""My door is always open""."