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Joke of the Day

"Wear green for St Patty's Day! You don't wanna get punched! -You mean pinched [flashback to the 6 people I punched earlier] It's pinched?"

"I eat my hot dogs cold No bun intended"

"Where did L Ron Hubbard store his dishes? In the L Ron cupboard."

"What do hillbillies do on Halloween? Pumpkin."

"A riddle Who's got orange skin, poor speaking skills, is overwhelmingly disliked and is in over his head? Yeah, I know, too easy right? It's Jar Jar Binks"

"[sitting in doctor's office] It's bad news. You have a rare case of contagious memory loss. ""What do you mean?"" I can't remember."

"Why is a banana the most attractive fruit? Everyone finds it a-peeling."

"Dicks and vaginas are kind of like Coke and Pepsi I strongly prefer one, but my dad thinks they taste the same"

"My wife is a beautiful, kind & giving woman who also checks my TL."

"Sharks don't sleep so I'm pretending I'm a shark except one that sings along with Lady Gaga. I'm Lady Sharkshark! Anyway, totally drunk."