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Joke of the Day

"After a few bites of sunflower butter I've never been more fully prepared to buy a Prius."

"Why is the Democratic electoral landscape like a Moebius strip? Cause no matter what you do, there always seems to be a Clinton claiming to be ""on your side"" . . ."

"So a dyslexic man walks into a rab."

"The Best Part of Waking Up is Friends Who Don't Know Each Other Arguing In Your Comments on Facebook"

"got kicked out of the supermarket for eating off of the shelf, but since I was only eating cat food they didnt call the cops like last time."

"Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside."

"My friend the Scarecrow just got a promotion He was outstanding in his field"

"What about a To-Don't List?"

"I am in the S&M period in my relationship She sleeps, I masturbate."

"What do you call an Italian reggae enthusiast? A pastafarian"