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Joke of the Day

"Magician: I need a volunteer. [man stands] Not you. [woman stands] Not you. GARY GET UP HERE! [Gary goes up] We've never met before, right?"

"today a 6 yr old girl asked me if butterflies are flowers that escaped & i was like yo what is yr twitter handle"

"What do you call a blond skeleton in the closet? The winner of hide and seek."

"TIL that 4/20 is Hitler's birthday. The jews definitely got baked today."

"When testing, make like a frat boy And bang out the easy ones first"

"How do dogs like their eggs cooked? Pooched."

"Whats the difference between an apple and a dead baby I dont come on my apple before I eat it"

"Why am I still hearing noises from the class? Because you still have ears, teacher."

"Green men make me cross."

"What did the executioner say to his wife when he left? I'll beheading out now."