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Joke of the Day

"If Ella Fitzgerald married Darth Vader then she would be known as Ella Vader......."

"He and I were best friends and roommates, so sex was never on the table. It was always on the couch, the bed, and the floor. Come on, we *eat* there."

"I always cary a clump of my hair in my pocket so when people say, ""I like your haircut"", I can respond with, ""Thanks. Here, have some."""

"I like my pizza like I like my pizza: pizza"

"There are 10 types of people in this world: Those who can count in binary, those who can't and those who weren't expecting this joke to be in base three."

"Once I was Walking And I kept Walking :p That's all how are doing today ? What' time is it at your house ? Are you married ?"

"Argon walks into a bar. And the bartender says, ""We don't serve Noble Gasses in here!"" Argon does not react."

"How do cities decide who gets to be in charge of wastewater management? They hold a runoff election."

"What is a physicist's favorite type of pants? Massless chaps"

"Roses are red, Violets are Blue .. Nothing poetic, they are just facts."