221988

Joke of the Day

"I couldn't find the thingy that peels the carrots and potatoes, so I asked the kids if they'd seen it. Apparently she left me yesterday."

"Why does the new new French navy have glass bottomed boats? So they can see the old French navy."

"Happy Groundhog day, everyone!"

"Q: Why did the rabbit eat lunch under the sink? A: He found a leek there."

"Why do you never see black people on cruises? They're not falling for that one again!!"

"""Twitter got hacked by some idiot in the projects. Hide ya kids, hide ya wife, hide ya husband too, 'cause they hackin' everybody out here."""

"One hard thing to explain to people under 20 is how legitimately exciting it used to be when someone would wheel in an overhead projector."

"Anyone that tells you beer isn't a solution clearly didn't pay attention in science class."

"9 called to ask how much bleach it takes to get purple ink out of carpet and because she's so cute and at her dad's I went with all of it!"

"Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse... but it wasn't until I spanked a statue that I realized I'd hit rock bottom"