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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend stole my vintage adding machine That calculating bitch."
Next Joke
"mom, pull over imma bout to throw up... West side california!! wit uppppp"
"Do you know why you dont get along with cassiopeia? Cause she is petrifying gays."
"tried to sign up for Obamacare via my SEGA Dreamcast web browser only to learn its not supported. This is 1,000x worse than Benghazi."
"Ebay is great! I just ordered a chicken and an egg. We shall see what one comes first."
"War Chat What did one militia say to the other militia? I'll siege you later! (Sorry, but I had to post something original, I created an account!)"
"If you are looking for a way to describe olive oil, how about ""yellow and you can't drink it"""
"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Lightbulb? What lightbulb?"
"I want to steal someone's phone who has 8000 followers and retweet the fuck out of myself"
"In the morning, I woke up on the floor next to my bed. I must have fell asleep."