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Joke of the Day
"My girlfriend stole my vintage adding machine That calculating bitch."
Next Joke
"What has two legs and looks like a spider? A spider. (They have two legs and an additional six legs also)"
"Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday."
"Top 5 birth control methods 1. pills 2. hysterectomy 3. jean jackets 4. crocs 5. putting ketchup all over the fries instead of on the side"
"Why did the chicken cross the road? ""BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T FUCKING COOK IT!"" -Gordon Ramsay"
"It's funny how red, white, and blue represent freedom Until they're flashing behind you"
"What illness do you diagnose a sick ass online bowling player with? E-bowla!"
"ATTN FILMMAKERS: Is it possible the future won't be colored a bleak greenish gray with constant rain, or are you really sure of this?"
"Want to hear a dumb, old joke? Hillary Clinton. Want to hear a dumber, older joke? Wherefore doth the chicken cross the road? Want to hear the oldest, dumbest joke I've heard? Donald Trump."
"I don't think my inner child is ever moving out."