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Joke of the Day

"When a boy turns 12 he is given the choice between a big dick or a good memory... I can't remember what I picked"

"Whats the difference between a girl and a washing machine? When I dump a load in the washing machince, it doesnt follow me around"

"My neighborhood is so politically correct... ...they consider it a hate crime to misspell vinegar."

"Did you hear about corduroy pillow cases? They're making all the headlines! Never said it was a good joke..."

"What did the overbearing mother melon say to her son and his girlfriend? You Cantaloupe."

"What does a tickle me Elmo get before it leaves the factory? Two test tickles"

"I'm a giver. *gives you a hard time*"

"What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene"

"I saw a guy holding a TV I was walking down the street, when I saw a black guy holding a TV. I thought ""holy shit, is that mine?"" I went home to check. But nah, mine was at home polishing my shoes."

"I want to tell a joke about infrastructure spending in the UK but only people in London will get it."