8498

Joke of the Day

"I saw a guy holding a TV I was walking down the street, when I saw a black guy holding a TV. I thought ""holy shit, is that mine?"" I went home to check. But nah, mine was at home polishing my shoes."

"Why can't Australians play chess? They keep saying check, mate."

"I never understand why do people whisper at funeral's ? The most important guy at this party is dead he can't hear you."

"Damn girl! Your name must be Ebola... All I can think about is you spreading."

"He pasta way? Here today, gone tomato. You cannoli do so much before thyme is up. Never sausage a tragedy. Olive my thoughts are with you."

"MTV giving awards for music is the same as Fox News giving an award for unbiased journalism."

"Based on the Scotland vote results... It looks like the UK didn't get off Scot-free."

"""Does this mean that we're going to be BFFs forever?"

"Granny, pay attention and don't panic. I need you to think hard and tell me how many brownies you ate out of the blue pan."

"I'm going to change my name to Sparta so when I get introduced to people they can say ""This is Sparta."""