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Joke of the Day

"""I'm the only cop on the force who can play the bassoon dammit"" ""Not anymore"" New cop in sunglasses walks in, just killing it on the bassoon"

"What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk"

"A man walks into a bar... Just kidding"

"Girls wait for the perfect guy: Disney's fault. Guys wait for the perfect girl: Playboy's fault."

"Funny how I used to see human features in things like electrical sockets, or clouds, or my ex."

"A man walks into a podiatrist and whaps his cock out The staff look at him and say ""thats not a foot"" ""No but its a good 9 inches"" Bu-dum-tissh"

"How do you keep an idiot waiting?"

"reggae band i've just started playing triangle in a reggae band. i just stand there and ting."

"what does the fox say dingdingdingdingdingding"

"What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work? The aftermath"