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Joke of the Day

"What does a mathematician deal with when finished their work? The aftermath"

"Football is so cute it's like some guys are like we're gonna get you and one guys like no no no no"

"My Wife was dead and rotting for a week... ..and i thought she was just having her periods."

"WHY WAS THE BROOM LATE FOR WORK? BECAUSE IT OVERSWEPT."

"I was gonna tell a pedophile joke but I always come in a little behind."

"What do race car drivers wear under their fire retardant suits? Speedos !"

"Sure, your app can send me push notifications. Just give me your home number so I can call you to let you know I got them."

"I hate when I shoot someone with finger pistols but I forgot to take the safety off so nothing happened and NOW IT'S SO AWKWARD :("

"For The Musicians: What's the difference between an orchestra and a bull? On a bull, the horns are at the front, and the ass hole is at the back."

"I'm no scientist but you're an idiot."